5 Reasons Your Daughter Won't Open Up
Posted: November 15, 2016
When your daughter enters her teen years, it can cause a lot of anxiety for parents. You know she will need to grow up eventually, but you worry that she is making risky choices. She may be hanging out with peers that you find unsavory or starting to talk, dress, and act differently. You might have caught her in a lie, uncovered a shameful secret, or discovered that she's been experimenting with drugs and alcohol. You worry about her grades, her safety, and her future. But when you are anxious and acting out of fear or nervousness, your first instinct could be exerting control. You might try to immediately control her behavior, how she spends her time, and who she spends it with. And as you may know, this approach can put a bigger wedge between you. The young girl who used to listen and hang on your every word is now becoming more and more distant. The more she withdraws, the more compelled you feel to encroach on her independence and privacy. If this sounds like a cycle you've found yourself in with your daughter, keep reading. Here are 5 common mistakes that well-meaning parents often make when trying to help their teen daughter. Which of these caricatures have you become when trying to get your daughter to make better choices?
- The Fixer: offering solutions and pushing them on your teen
- The Protector: restricting her access to opportunities so that she never gets the chance to make a mistake.
- The Doomsday Dad or Mom: painting the world as a dangerous place to prevent your daughter from taking risks.
- The Reprimander: the second she makes a small mistake, you try to shut down those opportunities and avoid discussing it
- The Friend Bouncer: if you get a bad feeling about one of her besties, the kid is out and your daughter is not allowed to see them anymore